Lately I’m in a pasty plateau. It’s not that I don’t have a million ideas, I guess it’s more the fact that I’m home all day with the kids and pastries and I just can’t seem to find the time. I’ve learned to live with the fact that now a mother of 3 I officially have to shelf my career to be a full time mom, but part of me still always craves the hustle of the kitchen. My crafty posts far out way my food posts and my food posts don’t really say “Hey I’m a trained pastry chef” but more of “look what my housewife self did today.” Can I even call myself a pastry chef anymore with some of the things I’ve created lately? Am I worthy of that title anymore?
I see my friends and husbands creations come to life and I just stare at my hands and want to cry. Part of me wonders if I’m even capable of creating the desserts I used to or if everything that now comes out of me will scream “mom baking”.
Could I make a plated dessert at home…sure I could but it’s not the same as creating it for strangers. Friends and family will always love what you do, and I’m not sure if my mother in-law would appreciate some of my more crazy ideas.
I thought writing a cookbook would help (because well everyone is doing it why shouldn’t I) but as I compile my recipes together it only seems to make me even more depressed.
Call it Pastry Depression but there’s just serious funk going on up inside me and I just wish something would give. A catering event, a magical job that fits my schedule as a mom, a backer to open up my own store, or the even more mythical job of writing from home for someone about pastries.
Where does one find the balance between life and pastries?