Pork Belly Wars

The past few weeks has been crazy.  All foodie experimentation was put on hold due to visitors and just lack of energy.  After my moms visit we got a call that my Uncle Brian and his family were surpsing us with a visit.  This on the day that we had planned major food experimentation.  Somehow we managed to juggle their visit and prepping for our showdown.

I may be a decent pastry chef…but I absolutely suck at cooking.  Unless your asking me to cook mexican food that my Momo taught me or it has bacon as the main ingredient then you’ll probably get a huge plate of fail.  In fact part of my new year’s resulotion was to try and cook more often.  So when my husband came home with, no not flowers and chocolates, but pork belly I was all a flame.  The hubs being the hubs had to turn it into a competion and so the joyner pork belly war began.

Now as a pastry chef I’ve been close in the kitchen to real chefs and seen my fair share of odd things.  I’m no stranger to pulling out plyers to help a friend out and de-bone a fish or de-feather a bird, but never have I had a major freak out moment like I did with the pork belly.  As I was plucking out some stray hairs my hand just so happend to graze on a nipple….yes I said nipple.  Once I decided to look down though my disgust turned to horror as I realized it was not just a nipple but nipples all in a pretty line down the side of my belly.  I freaked the freak out like nobodies business.  You could even see a few hysteric tears as I ran around the kitchen screaming.  Hubs had to come and cut that part off until I went anywhere near it.  GROSSSSS!


So after that freak out moment had passed and a drank half a beer I went back to prepping my little lady piggy.  I had no clue what hubs was doing and since I have no “food” experience I just decided to throw things on it and hope for the best.  Miss Piggy was braised in blackberries, woodchuck cider, thyme, brussell sprouts, and onions.  Your probably freaking out on the brussell sprouts, 2 years ago I’d be right there with you, and honestly I have no idea what possesed me to use them but I did.  Also I super duper coated the skin (yes I left the skin on) with honey and salt because I made meat gummie bears later with it.


3 hours later I had perfection.  Despite the odd smelling combination of blueberries and brussell sprouts Miss Piggy came out with a great flavor.  It wasn’t sweet at all in fact it really had the slightest hint of berry at the very end.  All my ingredients just enhanced the natural flavor of the pork which is what I was hoping for (no not really I have no idea what im talking about).  Since we had company over it had to chill until the next day.  It reallly had to chill anyways before we grilled it, and in the end it worked out even better because Piggy soaked up half of the juice it was sitting in overnight.  So the next day we got to work on making our slaws and sauces for our “fight”.

I decided to go with a spicey apple slaw on mine and brussell sprout chips..which didn’t end up on the plate because I ate them all and only had a small amount for pics 😦 BUT MINE WAS AWESOME!  We invited my inlaws to judge our pork, which ended up being a major fail bc they refused to pick a winner.  I would tell you what the hubs made but I’m not allowed because he’s going to blog it sometime soon on his blog.  Hopefully tonight if I nag him enough.

So here it is my little Miss Piggy!  What do you think would you eat it?  I’m hoping to have more chef battles with the hubs soon…hopefully next time I’ll get there first so I have more space.


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